Thinking of my life here in Jengka does upset my feelings sometimes. I feel like being trapped in a really small place without any fun things to do. Although it might sound silly, I do miss my life back when I was in SMK Seri Garing - the chaos, the hustle and bustle, the naughty students and I do miss my house in Tasik Puteri.
I'm not really dwelling in my past, it's just a remembrance that I hold on for the past three years. I feel kind of lonely here without the one that I love the most...
People come and go... life is not as easy as it may seem and I have to endure so many things by myself. I guess there's nothing wrong if I like to sit back and reflect myself - what did I do wrong or what is actually my goal in life. There's no definite answer for it for I don't know how to begin with.
I do make mistakes and I don't intend to make the same mistakes in my life, but sometimes life is a cruel battle that I have to face it alone - just by myself. If you ask me, I would say that I'm not really enjoying my present. I love things that happened in the PAST.
I missed my friends, my dear students, my parents, my family, my CHILDREN... I know that I've neglected my children the most as I am struggling to help those students in need.
Sometimes I need a moment for myself and pat on my shoulders and say, "I have done the very best today!"
Well, some people are too blind to see that it takes a lot of effort to help others in need and the worst part is they will criticize you no matter what you do for the benefits of others.
Dwelling in the past does make me happy...:)