There are too many questions in my head right now. I could not help but to cry when I could not think properly. People used to say...Think positive and you'll know what to decide. But I think there are some circumstances that I could not think positively. It is easier to be said than to be done.
What about the work place? Do you enjoy working there? What about your life partner? Do you think he / she appreciates you? What about money? Do think it is enough to support you and your family? What about future? Is it going to be the same page?
I don't want to think about all those questions, but somehow they tend to mess around with my mind. I used to say that I love teaching... but sometimes I do feel like my job is not being appreciated by some of students. I used to say that I love working... but sometimes I feel like quitting my job and if I could, I would like to be a normal housewife.
The pressure is not the same for each one of us. Many of us do think about a lot of things and couldn't do much about it. We tend to keep it far away in a hidden place either in our mind or in our heart. Some people do take some actions to make sure all the negative thoughts are being pushed away. I tried so hard, but still, I couldn't throw those negative thoughts away.
What should I do? Crying is not the best solution. I'm sure many of us do feel alone in time like this. Talking to a friend might help, but do we tell the truth? Or should we hide a fact or two? Well, it is easier said than done. Talk is cheap. Friends come and go. Can you really find a real friend that can listen to you and to ease your pain?
Having problems is normal. But handling those problems is a different story. Like I said, thinking positively is not really easy in this real life. Some problems could be solved easily, but some might let you sink deep down into another world. I hate my job! Really! But, what can I do? It is my own choice. If I could turn back time, I think I would be someone else. (I wish!)
But there are things that I like for being me...having a wonderful husband and two lovable children in my life. My family is blessed...and I guess, my life is just another story on a big stage...I wonder, how will it end? Somehow, I will always say to myself, everything that happens to me is being planned by Allah and Allah knows it best. So...I'm going to appreciate myself more and I hope you all will think that way too...InsyaAllah.