Monday, November 22, 2010

A treat for a gloomy day

Joke 1:

Two men were talking:

1st man:      You know...I had a girlfriend last year...
2nd man:     Then...
1st man:      She has a fake leg...a wooden one...
2nd man:    You must have loved her very much.
1st man:      I did...but I have to break it off.
2nd man:     Your relationship? Why?
1st man:       Nope! Her leg....she likes to kick me with it! It hurts!!!!

Joke 2:

Two ladies were talking:

1st lady:      See that man? I'll bet that he's going to ask me out. He's even smiling at me!
2nd lady:     Why it has to be you and not me? I'm beautiful as you are!
1st lady:       Well....I have all that he needs....
2nd lady:      Nope!

The man walked towards them while smiling.

Man:         (To the first lady)....Hi...may I say something?
1st lady:    (She smiles to her friend - winning the game) have all my time.
Man:          I can't let you go out like this. People are staring at your back.
1st lady:     Hmmm...I know, my back is quite exposed tonight. You see...I'm wearing a Gucci dress tonight.
Man:          Yup...I noticed that....but don't forget to take the label off your dress. It's kind of big for an
                  authentic dress, I presume.

Joke 3:

Father:        Have you done your homework?
Son:            Yes.
Father:        Have you cleaned your room?
Son:           Yes.
Father:        Have you packed your bag? And why are you still watching TV? You are supposed to get going. The
                   bus might leave you!
Son:            But dad....
Father:         I'm older than you as I say...get going...
Son:            But dad.....
Father:        It's late now....
Wife: 's SUNDAY!!!!
Father:        Oh...hmmm....okay...go to your room and study!

Joke 4:

Husband:      Honey, have you seen my glasses?
Wife:            It's on the table!
Husband:      Hmmm....where did I put it?...Honey, have you seen the newspaper?
Wife:            On the same table!
Husband:      Oh...I thought I have taken it with me....Honey....have you seen my pen?
Wife:  's on the same table which has your glasses and newspaper.
Husband:      Why I can remember things nowadays? Am I senile? I still remember my 75th birthday last
Wife:            (Getting out from the bedroom) Have you found all that you need?
Husband:       And may I ask....who are you?

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