PingJe

Sunday, November 21, 2010

18 n above....

 These are some jokes I've got from a good friend of mine....If you are 18 and above, it's okay for you to read....

Joke 1:

There was a newly-wed couple going to a remote place for their honeymoon.

Wife:      I'm not so keen to get a child in our first year of marriage. And I don't want to take any pills too.
              So...
Man:      I know! I'll buy that thing for protection if it's okay with you...
Wife:      Be quick honey...


The man went out as fast as he can. The room was dark as he switched off the lights before going out. Suddenly,  an intruder went quietly into the room hoping to steal precious things from the room.

Wife:       Honey? Is that you? If it's you...quickly...I can't wait. I'm sleepy and we have a long day tomorrow.

Without saying a thing, the intruder walked quietly to the bed. Then, something happened between them....
The satisfied wife fell asleep minutes later. The intruder left without taking anything - for he has got something more.

Man:     Darling...(looking at his wife's face without switching on the lights)
Wife:     Why....you are not satisfied enough, aren't you?

Nine months later......

Wife:      Honey...why does our child ....doesn't have the same colour like we do?
Man:      Oh man, I've should have taken the white one. But the cashier said the black one is quite good. It
              might have holes in it....arghhhh....  

Joke 2:

Man:    Why are you blindfolding my eyes?
Wife:   It is a surprise....
Man:    I can't take it anymore.....
Wife:   It's our anniversary...don't ruin it...
Man:   Okay....I'll play along....
Wife:    Honey....stay here. Wait for me okay....I won't be long....(she kisses him on the forehead)

The man thought of something naughty.....he undressed himself and waited for her on the sofa.....

A crowd:    SURPRISE!!!!!

And they were surprised too...including the naked man on the sofa....


Joke 3:

There were two old men talking about their pasts. They were bragging about their lovers....

1st Man:    I can get any woman I want.
2nd Man:   I can get two women for one night.
1st Man:    Oh...that's an old trick. I can enjoy myself till morning with 10 different women per night.
2nd Man:  Ah...that's incredible....what did you do?
1st Man:    Oh...it was nothing. I enjoyed watching them on tv while I did the whole thing myself! Brilliant
                 right?

Joke 4:

There was a couple sitting on a bed in a room and still thinking what to do next. The boy has taken out few protections with different colours and flavours. Then he chose one and started to do the first step. Suddenly...

Father:     What are you two doing in here?
Girl:          We are studying. Can't you see that?
Father:      What's that on your palm?
Boy:          Chewing gum, sir. (He quickly put the thing in his mouth. He started to chew it). It's strawberry,
                 sir.
Father:     Hmmm....blow it for me....then I'll believe you!
Boy:        (Trying so hard to blow and finally made it).
Father:     Okay....just study....don't do stupid things.....
He went out and they felt relieved.

Girl:         Strawberry? I thought I chose orange....! I hate you! Only your ex would choose strawberry.....!!!
                We are done here!!!




          

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