While watching some movies this week make me ponder about something which I know that most of us will think about it sometimes. First crush or first love...does it ring a bell? Well, I'm sure many of us have experienced it before in our lives.
Do you still remember the face of that particular one who stole your heart at the first sight? Or do you still remember your first date with that one? It might be a long time ago, but it sure was something worth to remember.
When I got married to my husband, I told him that he is not my first crush. He took it easily and told me that I'm not his first crush too. So, we have our own so called love story before we were finally tied up with a bond. The reason I mention the first love or the first crush is that to let us remember the ways we use to do while we were in a relationship - before getting married.
The man will always try to be as romantic, caring, and helpful as much as possible. The lady would try as best as she can to potray a perfect lady while standing in front of him. My question is...Why can't some of us stay the same after getting married to the person that we chose to be together till death do us part?
Some men changed into different personalities...tend to get mad / angry easily. They tend to take things for granted and don't want to share their feelings with their wives. From my point of view (seeing from my working place, my relatives and my friends), somehow I have listened to the same story over and over again. Not to mention that some husbands tend to get married AGAIN after living more than 10 years with the first, chosen one - the first wife. I feel sad for those wives because the reasons are the same...
I still couldn't understand what is it so vital for men to get married AGAIN after living and having so many kids with the one that you chose to be together and you have vowed that you will never leave her forever. It seems to me that COMMUNICATION is the main factor.
During our first five years of marriage, we were just like any other couples. We have ups and downs but we managed to dig in and solve each problem that we had. But still, Communication is one of the keys to make it work. And one thing that I have learned all this while is ... the wife's job will never ends. I don't want to blame the husbands, but I do think that a marriage is just like a small boat with two paddles. If only one person is paddling with all strength and might, the boat will never go far. But if those two people try so hard to make the boat move faster, it will surely reach the finishing line quickly than others.
So, as a wife, I do believe that we should not be a queen control. Or we should not ask too much from the husband (if the husband can give you everything...by all means...take it...). Try not to lecture him straight away when he reaches home after work. He is not a robot. Give him time to relax and spoil him a bit. Then you can tell him everything that you are dying to tell him that day. But...use your psychological abililty...
As a wife...I also believe that a husband should learn to remember some important dates that mean everything to his wife. A husband should learn how to express his feeling to his wife. Surpressing your feeling will make things worsen. Listen to her while she is talking. She just needs a shoulder to share everything that she has in her mind. Spoil her once in a while. She's too tired with the household, the children and the working place. Let her have a-one-day-off...It might cheer her up.
Always remember that...we decide our future...we decide our path...somehow, we need a great partner to decide how to rule our marriage. It's not too late to sit and talk about the happiness and the sadness in your marriage. Sharing means caring. Crying doesn't mean that you are weak. And please remember...love is just like a tree...water it properly and nurse it carefully...the love will grow stronger than ever. Love story should not have a sad ending. Fall in love again with your partner and be in love forever...