PingJe

Monday, September 13, 2010

To Him...To Her...

I don't really understand why lovers / couples fight about stupid stuff or some unrelated issues that can lead to their separation. I have listened to many friends' and family's stories about their problems in relationship. For me, it's a matter of trust, understanding and the important thing is communication.

I have read one article about mending a relationship. This article is mostly about handling your situation if it falls apart. Usually, women are more sensitive about so many things (Oh God...Help me...). Too sensitive that can make their men suffocated in the relationship whether it is in short term or even in a longer one. Married men tend to take things lightly few years after settling down. They tend to take things for granted (only some will try to work hard for the marriage) and they don't seem to care what their wives might need.

Yesterday one of my family member came to me and wanted me to help him out. He is tall, fair and handsome...and my first guess would be that his girlfriend is being jealous if some other girls would take him away from her. His girlfriend doesn't trust him the way she should have and always asks him about little things that make him frustrated. He is a gentle person and a kindhearted man. He doesn't play around with other people's feeling. I felt sad for him when I saw him that way. Being married for 8 years now giving me the opportunity to learn more things about men because I like to ask questions to my husband. So I gave him some advice that might help him out.

To him....
1. Get to know her better. Why would she act like that? There must be reasons....find out the reasons and  
    communicate well...
2. Sometimes...to know the birthday, day of birth, time of birth, and the horoscope can help you to know her
    better.
3. Learn to listen to her. Women love when their men listen to them. Listening is the key to get her attention.
    When you listen to her, you might find some interesting facts about her.
4. Women are jealous even though they don't say it out loud. Real women tend to surpress their own feeling
    sometimes and they only act out when they feel insecured in the relationship. Only stupid women will revolt
    before knowing the truth about things that happen between couples. Thinking before acting is a good sign.
5. Choose a woman who like you for who you are. Don't fall for her charms so quickly. You will end up as
    her slave. A woman can be so cunning that you couldn't see the real face. When you do, it will be too late.
6. Love is just like a plant...water it nicely and you will enjoy the fruits that it produces. But if you give too
    much water to  it, it will slowly die. Pampering is nice, but Don't pamper her too much. Give some space
   for both of you to do things that you like to do personally.

To her...
1. Men can be predicted sometimes, but never underestimate them for they are created stronger than
   women.
2. In this modern world, there's no hiding behind the curtain. You have to tell him exactly what you really
   expect from him. Once you are married to a man, you have to learn to be a little bit straight forward. Men
   don't really like guessing games. If you need something, you better tell him exactly what you need.
3. Try to be a little bit independent. Men don't really like women to cling to them all the time. Sometimes, 
     they need their own sweet time with their friends or even by themselves.
4. A man can be jealous too. So don't provoke him because you don't want to know the consequences.
5. Learn to accept his weakness and live with that. You can never change a person unless the person wants
    to change himself.
6. Communication is the best tool. Speak out your mind. Don't surpress your feeling too long because men
   don't really seem to know your feeling if you are hiding it. Just tell him and discuss the problems like adults.

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