Students nowadays are so bold and daring when it comes to LOVE matter. I could not imagine if we, the adults, taking the privilege out from their lives. They said the fell in love and could not live without her / him. But the problem is – they are too young to understand the real meaning that lies in a relationship.
When students come and ask me about it, I would never ask them to back off from their own feelings because I was a teenager back then and I understand the feeling to be loved and to be in loved.
Instead, I ask them to be more focused in study just to show other people that they can manage both world – study life and love life. If they could not manage to handle both, they should choose which one to focus more.
I don’t know about other parents, but as a teacher, I have to tackle my students’ problem from the root. Boys are different from girls. Their feelings and actions are not the same too. So, if your teenage son / daughter is actually showing you the sign of having love problems, you as a the parents should know how to handle the problem.
Punishing or scolding them would turn the matter into a disaster. So, use a psychological approach – a hidden agenda (that what my dad used to do when I was in my adolescence years). He would ask me questions about the boys who wanted to ask me out. In the end, he asked me to bring him home so that he can talk to him – man to man. At first, I don’t really like the method, but throughout the years, I feel more secured because my parents are being rational and quite understanding in term of me finding a boyfriend. No matter a friend or a special friend, ask your son / daughter to bring ‘the friend’ home. Then you can get the chances to be more close to your own child. They will learn to respect you more.
I felt sad and angry when I read about so many bad things that had happened nowadays. Raping, murdering, killing their own child or even abandoning the poor little baby makes me feel terrified of my twins’ future. I would tell my students not to succumb to any ‘stupid request’ made by their boyfriend because they have to learn to appreciate your body, mind and soul. If they simply give it away, it would harm their emotions and physical later on. They have to learn how to choose good friends and good surrounding. And who is going to guide them? We, the adults have to walk together with them along the long journey to help them to become a complete human being.
Many students told me that it is difficult for them to say out loud what they are thinking or what they are trying to do because the parents don’t really pay attention to their needs. I would suggest that the conservative parents should try to change their point of view starting now because the teenagers in this modern world are becoming more complex and difficult to handle. It is not the same anymore. There are orthodox methods which cannot be used anymore. Learn the new school or try to act as their friend to help them finding the right path to choose.
Losing them is the worst thing that could have happened to any of us. But, try to prevent it before it could take them away from us. Loving means caring. Caring means using your brain and then using your heart.