Few days before, I heard few students were talking about maturity and puberty. It felt like they were talking like adults. I heard that they discussed few things on how to become a good daughter to their family. But something had struck me that their parents don't seem to understand their feelings and needs.
I went through a long discussion with my husband later that day. I felt like I need to know his
opinion on this matter because we are raising a son and a daughter that will someday become an adult and
we have to view this matter as serious as it could be.
My husband is quite a conservative type of man but he seems to open his mind to this kind of conversation.
So he decided few things that he thought suitable for both him and his twins which I thought are quite generous of him to think about that.
So, his resolutions are:
1) He would allow the twins to have their own thoughts about something but the twins have to notify us with
that. It doesn't matter about school or even puppy love, they have to share with us in order for us to
monitor them from far.
2) He wouldn't provide them with a car although they have driver's license because he feels that the twins
need to learn to earn their own money like we did.
3) The twins have to introduce their friends or other 'friends' to us either they just want to hang out or to go
out with them. It's just a precaution for both of us to feel secure that they are going out with people that we
4) Handphone! I have argued a lot with him. He doesn't want to provide the handphone in such a young age.
But I have finally assured him the thing is a necessary nowadays - even for primary school level. He
agreed on that but it will be used in emergency cases only. (-SIGH-)
5) Marriage ! He doesn't really mind if the twins have their own choices but he will be the one who wants to
'interrogate' the 'candidate' himself. He just wants to be sure that they have found their own right match
before getting married. (I thought I'm the mother here...LOL).
I feel that somehow as a parent, I do learn a lot of things around me. Listening to my students' stories sometimes help me in understanding their part of the world which someday will be my twins'. So, I need to prepare myself to be a better parent. So does my husband. He likes to reson things with me before we can get a better conclusion on certain things.
I feel that it is good for husband and wife to discuss things before actually doing the things. It will help the parents to understand the chances and the consequences of an action taken later on.
Learning new things doens't mean that we are way too orthodox or conservative. Changing the usual into something unusual sometimes help us to become a better person each day.
Discussing things with our own children doesn't mean we are being mellow or softhearted to them. But we, as their parents need to help and guide them to walk in the correct path so that they won't commit any 'crime' intentionally.
We used to be in their shoes back then...REMEMBER THAT!