PingJe

Monday, August 2, 2010

Old School vs New School

I heard so many cases where by teenagers nowadays complaining about their parents. I feel sorry for those students who are being forced to be someone who they don't want to be. There are some cases where by students carved something on certain parts of their body just to let their feelings go.

For me, parents and teachers or even society should consider this matter as important as it could be. For many teenagers, their feelings are being ignored either by their parents or teacher in school. Few years back, when I started my work as a teacher,  I heard a bad news. A student who failed in PMR exam hung himself just because he couldn't get straight A's. The teacher who told me the news was devastated for he has shown the signs of depression a week before the tragic incident.

The teacher kept telling me what would have happened if she took the matter seriously? The student might be alive by then. She kept blaming herself for not helping him to solve the small problem. Later, I learnt that the mother of the student was very ambitious about her son. She wanted her son to be the best. He had only got 6A's out of 7A's. What is the problem here?

When I was in secondary school, during my SPM year, my father told me..."If you could not pass the exam, I will marry you off!" I was so scared at that moment. But my father didn't say how many A's should I strive for. So, lucky me, I excelled in my SPM and was able to further my studies.

If the parents want things so badly, it is quite okay to threathen a child, but don't be too hard on him / her. The child has his / her own abilities. Good or bad ... he / she needs guidance in life. I think some parents are being too harsh on the children. They want the children to get the best without asking them what they really want in life.

Being parents doesn't mean that we have to play by the rules all the time. Sometimes children need something to boost up their motivation level to the max. Maybe a dinner treat after having a 'big' exam that day would cheer them up a bit. If the parents kept threathen the children, they will feel excluded and terrified of something that is not happening yet.

Some of the teenagers have a rapid changing in their hormones. We should look at this matter as a serious issues. We should tackle this problem from the root before it's too late to say no. Nowadays, if we are not being a good 'friend' to our own children, they are going to look for another friends who are able to share their thoughts and do whatever that they think suitable among themselves. I can't imagine what they are capable in doing things.

I heard so many things during my teaching years. I might  not be a really expert in this field but many students feel safe with me. I feel sorry for those children who came and talked to me about their problems. For some parents, their children are not supposed to have that kind of problems ...whether about studies or even boys. It occurs to me that those parents might have forgotten that they were once a teenager back then. So, why can't they sit back and have a face-to-face chat with their children.

It won't hurt a pride to sit and talk with you children about problems that they face every single day in school. There are some parents who don't really know that name of the class that their son's / daughter's. If you are really counting on your children, why don't you start by asking: What's up today? Having fun in class? Who hurts your feeling? ....So on and so forth.

During my schooling years, my father had set a rule : you must bring your friend (either a girl / a boy) to this house and introduce us. I did everything that he told me. The result : he didn't feel worried if I went out with my friends for he has written down the address and the parents' name. It was easy for me back then. I feel that sometimes parents should act sensibly in terms of handling children. Parents might be differents in may ways, but children need time and space to grow up. If you block their ways, definitely they will another way. Good or bad, it willdetermines the outcome of the action taken by the children.

15 to 17 years old children are the most difficult part to handle. If they don't have a strong branch to hold onto, they might drown themselves in the river of 'joy' and 'happiness' brought by their other so-called friends in need. Parents should know that if they want the children to behave, learn to trust them. If you have set up rules, make sure all the rules are not really 'killing' your children.

There are rich parents who don't like their children be friends to poor children. We must know that there are no boundaries in any friendship. It is tolerence in friendship that should be built in their age. Adults tend to forget that we didn't become an adult in a blink of eyes. It tooks us years to become what we have become. Why don't we let they choose their path and we become their friend, mentor and lastly as their sporting parents.

Sporting parents doesn't mean that we could punish them if they have made mistakes. Life is about making mistakes. But we must help them in order not to do big mistakes. We could lend our ears when they have problems to be solved. Rather than searching for outsiders, why don't we become their best friends? Talking, sharing thoughts, laughing and making jokes are some of interesting moments that we could have shared with our children if let ourselves to be in their bubbles, their world.

Broken families is not the reason for the family to be apart. The children need both parenst. I feel sad to learn that many students who have problems come from broken families. It might not work out between the adults, but don't burden the children with the problems you have. They are hurt just being in between, so, don't let them choose to live either with the mother or the father. Let them think and let it be their own decision. Loving and nurturing should be the essential items in building a strong bond in a family.

Parents should be the ones who can read their children's mind, actions, and even their thoughts. They should get to know the friends involved, learn about their activities in school or other places. Some parents are too busy to earn more and more money and suddenly they tend to forget that they have children who worth more than any money in the world.

Sometimes, we need to take a break. Look around, there are people who counting on us. Our children need us more than our bosses or our friends. Treat them well, spend sometimes to watch them grow for they are growing faster than we know.

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