PingJe

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE?

One of my students asked me:
1) How to find a good man?
2) How do you know that the man is good?
3) What is the qualification of the man to be the right person (Mr. Right)?

Well...some might say that LOVE is BLIND. But somehow we tend to be BLINDED by the materials provided to us. Love is not blind actually. It just went through your heart even you are not noticing it.

For me, it is better if we know the person for quite some time before we can say that "I love him / her". Love is not as simple as it seems. It might be fun. It might be scary. It depends on how you take the love for. Whether it is for one month or the rest of your life, choose well.

I used to tell my students to know their 'friend' well enough before saying 'I love you'. Many of my friends said that they believe in love at the FIRST SIGHT. If you ask me, I don't believe such thing. Love can be found if we are willing to open up our hearts. But, we must learn about the person before we can turn the relationship into something deeper and bigger.

Remember, if you choose a person, don't judge him / her just by appearance. By knowing the person day by day, you are actually building a solid bond. It happened to me when I was in my secondary school after I had Vitiligo. My so called 'boyfriend' dumped me before I can explain the thing on my face. He never had a chance to get to know me better. So, I had to find the cure. Allah loves me for what I am. I am now cured but still the thing has to be controlled.

[VITILIGO (pronounced /ˌvɪtɨˈlaɪɡoʊ/) is a chronic disorder that causes depigmentation of patches of skin. It occurs when melanocytes, the cells responsible for skin pigmentation, die or are unable to function. The cause of Vitiligo is unknown, but research suggests that is may arise from autoimmune, genetic, oxidative stress, neural, or viral causes.[1] The incidence worldwide is less than 1%.[2] The most common form is non-segmental vitiligo.]

My husband loves me for who I am. He doesn't even say a word that might hurt my feeling. He loves me dearly for my kindness, not my face. If a man loves a woman, he should be seeing the heart more than seeing the face. He should explore her kindness, her favourites and her weaknesses. Not that my husband is perfect, but he is the one for me.

My mother used to tell me : "It is better to find a man who loves you more rather than finding a man that you think you can love him more."

Man will always be man. Nothing can change them. But choose wisely before you say "I do"!

2 comments:

GuanSze said...

eh teacher I am a boy leh...and will become a man one day....haiz, choose girl also the same right?

sophietarmizi said...

Guan Sze: To choose a good girl also is quite tricky because nowadays they are more into materialistics world. So, better be prepared both mentally and your own 'pocket'....hehehehhe
1) To choose is only after you know the true her.
2) If she's faking about something, learn about it and try to help her. But is she doesn't want to change, it is her loss. You ... FIND another one.....
3) WOMAN : a complex human being born with sensitivity and touch.....but sometimes can be spoilt with love and kindness....
4) MAN : a not-so-complex human being born with lust...learn to control it...you'll become a great MAN.

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